I had to hit the wall before I was finally forced to accept the truth. I lost my job, my reputation and my family and finally I sought spiritual and psychological help. Nothing short of personal and professional catastrophe could make me face myself and change. That is really sad but so true for many of us. If you are currently despairing of defeating your addiction then read this challenge. Eventually you will hit rock bottom and you may lose everything…
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Over 10 years of failed ‘serious’ attempts to stop.
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Over 10 years of lying to myself, my family and my colleagues.
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Over 10 years of promises that I was ‘cured’…NEVER AGAIN!
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Over 10 years of deceiving priests in the confessional.
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Over 10 years of destruction to my family and friends.
Then finally, God took control of my life. He demonstrated how weak I was but showed His real love by letting me fall into a well so deep and dark I never thought I would return…
But I did…
And I was definitely not alone when I did…
As we move towards the new year I look back on the success of this challenge. Sure, I have had a sustained period of sobriety before starting…but I definitely benefited. Lots of reminders and many great lessons recalled and re-learnt. Time definitely not wasted. This is what I mean when I say the battle against addiction is for life. Never assume you have things beaten and always treat yourself as ‘one moment’ away from falling.
I chose to give myself a 2 day break from the 40 Day Challenge; though I have continued to check the MOH website for comments. I made a point of reviewing a couple of my earlier posts and then submitted my daily devotions on the Rosary page.
It still saddens me when I see that nobody else is submitting their prayers. How few people pray for sinners in this day and age. Are we truly the ‘selfish generation’ or is it just laziness and apathy?
My Conclusion:
This is crucial in our understanding of addiction and the real damage it causes others. Sexual addiction is selfish enough if you are alone but if you are part of a family then it is destructive to people who have NOT asked for it. This challenge provides true accounts from the wife of a pornography addict. It makes difficult reading
I always look forwards but that does not mean I forget the past. I have an addictive personality and I am always at risk. So I know I can never let down my guard and I must always trust that God loves me more than the sins I have committed.
My family are worth the commitment I put in daily AND other addicts families are worth the prayers and devotions I donate.
Yours in Jesus, Mary & Joseph
SA James
