Day 32 – Stop being alone

So I managed to survive the first shopping blitzkrieg!!  Now for the next battle…

One of my favorite ‘moans’ relates to the lack of regular contact and online chats.  When I say regular that means ‘more than one/month’.  This is not because I like giving up my spare time to lead chats BUT because I know that avoiding support feeds a false allusion of success.

Talking to other people is easy once you have started and is always of benefit when honesty is the cornerstone.  Now for the part that generally defeated me.  Planning to attend a meeting always filled me with nerves, doubts and false bravado.  During the week before my early chat sessions my mind would start convincing itself I didn’t really need it…

And guess what – I would find an excuse not to attend and the Devil won again.

But I did need the support and that is why it has taken more than 10 years of broken appointments to make me accept that success comes only through trusting others – and attending those repetitive meetings.  It took me that long to realise that alone I was never going to beat my addiction.  I was just chasing my own tail in ever decreasing circles of deception.

Pride and shame was destroying me.

I hated attending meetings and I hated the nervousness I felt just before they started.  Meetings involving our secret feelings and desires are unpleasant to us.  We hate airing our dirty laundry to others.  Unfortunately, it is only when we can do this without fear that we begin to understand what is actually in  the laundry we hold.  Alone, we rarely see our true failings – especially those involving sexual addictions.

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My Conclusion:

Day 32 talks exclusively about meetings and the necessity of them.  As with all of these challenges there are several scriptural reference supporting this premise.  Read it and start to believe that you too, need to talk regularly with someone.

Even when things have been going well.

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Hopefully I will put out another blog on Monday but family being ever present during the festive period makes it more difficult to find the space and time to write.  By the way, they all know that I run this Fellowship and they all know that I am an addict.

My kids (all adults) come to me for advice sometimes and the best thing about MOH is that I have learnt to be open and honest and not afraid to discuss sexual issues with them.  True strength comes in open and honest relationships with others.  Try it sometime 🙂

Give Men of Hope a proper chance the next time you fall to sexual addiction…

Yours in Jesus, Mary & Joseph

SA James