Another day and still I have to struggle against different unexpected triggers. Still, I pray that God will take this cross away…it feels so heavy and at times so shameful. So toDay 6 and a personal account…
My Conclusion:
Listen and learn that we are definitely not alone in our struggle against sexual addiction.
No work required for this challenge so I suggest you review the work you did on Day 4. Knowing your activation triggers is vital and knowing when to turn and run is even more important. I do want to stress that viewing pornography isn’t the only sexual activity we have to concern ourselves with – it is just the place we invariably end up.
You may not use pornography as your primary medium to addiction – that doesn’t mean you should dismiss the advice available.
Some early activation triggers may be:
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Anticipation at knowing the house is empty on a Thursday…
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Seeing an attractive woman in the street
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Driving past a ‘location’ each day
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Having an argument with your wife/girlfriend
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Being made fun of or feeling alone
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Something you see on TV
That is tough words. I am too embarrassed to talk about some of the stuff I have seen but I do know it wasn’t what I intended when I started trying to satisfy my needs. Porn fueled the fire for me – it was a way to keep me going till I could get my real sexual need. Porn just makes you click into worse stuff. I hate some of the stuff I look at. I just hate everything right now.
I know its not illegal but I am scared that porn will drive me to it eventually. I just don’t feel in control. I know I need to be honest but I can’t face who I am and what makes me an addict. My triggers are everywhere. No one can help.
Online pornography sites can drive you to illegal searches / illegal images / illegal thoughts. That fact alone should be enough of a motivator to make you stop. Unfortunately, there are other chemical reactions taking place in your brain that actually reduce your moral and ethical decision making. Which cause you to ‘click’ before you actually consider the consequence…
The pornography sites are designed to force your brain to crave greater and ‘newer’ hits using clickbait images that often send you somewhere unexpected. Material you may have viewed a month ago is now barely able to keep your interest as your brain requires higher levels of stimulus to release the dopamine needed. It is comparable to a drug addiction.
Your triggers are definitely not everywhere it is more a case of you have despaired of ever gaining control. Please look hard at what ‘first’ triggers you to search and what it is you search for. It is rare that addicts are content with the same old ‘general pornography’ for very long.
You must find someone to talk to – you are only alone by choice.
We will pray for you